light on.

nostalgia at our best

2011-08-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

The past incident was the focal point that enlightened us. One event could allow all things to fall into place. One confession, one reaction and one revelation. The realization may be overwhelming at times. It feels like a catastrophic loss and we’re all over the place. There weren’t any alternatives, just subsequent events that just kept spiralling downwards.

We are in denial of the outcome being revealed. We may be angry with whatever that’s contrary to what we have desired. We do not know how else to deal with it. We fall into depression because we are not receptive of the changes that took place and may be daunted of the future.We may have a lot of questions and these impending ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ are waiting to be answered. Ambiguity leaves us feeling apprehensive and downtrodden. We can’t fight it even if we try.

Over time we learn to recognise that we have done everything that we possibly could. We learn to accept the way things are and whatever happened because they were always meant to be. With time we are able to comprehend the reasons why things went down the way it did and facing the challenges that may ride on in time to come. With acceptance we are able to appreciate and acknowledge those significances we have fought against.

We let go.

We get glimmers of a larger purpose in life. Because in life there’re no mistakes, only lessons learnt. With every challenge conquered comes continual growth, with each mistake made accumulates every bit of experience. Because ultimately, the greatest lessons in life occur not in the triumph, but in the struggle.

xx
31/10/2010

110609 - 160711

2011-07-25T23:21:00.001+08:00

2007-2010

2011-02-06T19:32:00.004+08:00

over these past 3 years, i have learnt to accept and deal with things the way they are and whatever that had happened. not the easiest way though.

i love you. i do. but right now, i can safely say that i have moved on. or at the least i'm making positive progress moving on.

it's not about whether i have given up, nor whether im giving in to the way how the situation had progressed. i learnt to see you as a part of me.

you complete me.

closure - 2010

2010-12-31T23:48:00.007+08:00

10 things in 2010

1. Majoring Psychology
2. Graduation
3. ECO group of companies/Starhub/Comex 2010
4. Burning MJ flame
5. Gym craze + Napfa prep
6. NBS/SMU interview
7. Happy Iphone 4 & impulsive Itouch purchase
8. Driving license (like, fina-fucking-lly)
9. Last 2 months of a good civilian life
10. Of change, growth and acceptance

live your lives to the fullest and may 2011 be a smashing one :)

Footprints on the Sand

2010-12-25T04:23:00.004+08:00

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

Feliz Navidad'10.
I walk, and i walk.
I walk, and i will.

the second bookout

2010-11-26T23:13:00.001+08:00

2010-11-01T06:45:00.001+08:00

"for a kiss to be good, you need it to mean something. you need to be with someone you cant get her outta your head.

so that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. you kiss so hard and deep, you never feel like wanting to come up for air

you cant cheat kiss. trust me, you wont want to. cause when you finally found the right person, the kiss is everything."

- Alex Karev, Grey's Anatomy

day 12 of snubbing the sticks

2010-10-19T02:56:00.009+08:00

Grey's the love :) excellent cast, strong acting and great plot, what else can i say? s6 finale was by far the most mind blowing, phew.

IMO, GA> Heroes, cause by S2 Heroes feels kinda crappy. but i still like Clare benneth and Peter petrelli :D

Perhaps there's always this tinge of realization that dawns onto me at the end of every episode, every time. This whole awareness thing makes me keep on wanting to watch the next ep again and again. And it has brought me closer to the whole emotional side of myself. i totally dig such dramas cause my emotions are being magnified. maybe such emotional roller coaster rides are the closest thing i can get to relive those moments.

izzie stevens ftw :) XOXO

ref

2010-08-10T01:34:00.000+08:00

i'll be back one day.

2010-08-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

"It is not the critic that counts;
nor the man who pointed out how a strong man stumble,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;

but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
whom knew of great enthusiasm and great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
whom at best, understands the triumph of high achievement,
and whom at worse, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those
cold and daunting souls who neither comprehend victory or defeat."

theodore roosevelt

2010-07-01T02:22:00.001+08:00

can't fight it even if i try.

superseded

2010-06-17T07:39:00.004+08:00

it had been a very tough decision to make. 2 weeks into late acceptance the confirmation reply came, finally :)

cause you're one in a million.

2010-06-12T03:56:00.004+08:00

"Time will make you forget me, but time will make me love you more than before"

with every goodbye you learn

2010-06-09T19:38:00.005+08:00

"it was a beautiful picture
something bright for the future
then it all began
when we went insane.

we didnt seem to understand each other
and you started to wonder
whether this was to be
or we all could flee."

- october 2008

i miss you. it's really a sudden overwhelming feeling. idk why either. guess i gotta learn to be more contented with what i have.

2010-06-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

at the crossroad

2010-04-28T20:52:00.006+08:00

If i could turn the calendar 3 times back, i would change nothing (:

2010-04-20T23:00:00.005+08:00

"I learnt that people always make the best choice they can given their map of the world at that time. I stopped regretting over the things i've chosen or done because that was my best choice at that time given my map of the world. My knowledge and abilities at that time only allow for that choice, that makes it my best choice."

come feb 2010, i'll be done with Ngee Ann Poly. You may not believe, but i still remember the first lesson i had in NP (IT WAS BCOMM HAHAHA), and how i survived the 1st week without knowing anyone.

3 years, 6 semesters and now it's down to the final last term. given a chance for a rewind, i would still choose NP BS and revive those memories. I wouldnt trade for anything for whatever that happened, cause that was the best choice that i could make 3 years back. much as i whined today about school ending at 8pm again and i cant wait for it to be over, there's a huge side of me not wanting to part with everything. yes, i wsh time could slow down.

these 3 years have been a huge learning journey for me. i never knew i could accomplish so much , the things we learnt, and most of all, you were the one who imprinted alot of memories down.

You may not believe, but the greatest fun and joy i ever had was in semester 1. The confusion, excitement and bonding was so vivid. And of cause, you were there :)

Right now, i'm excited for Open House and I want to experience as much as i could cause I know once this week passes, all that's left would be memories of Ngee Ann.

when graduation comes, come what may, i know im leaving all these behind me. all behind me, and another chapter of my life begins.

written on 5th jan 2010.

2010-03-12T19:52:00.007+08:00

2010-02-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

farewell, Ngee Ann!

of stress relieve &the last paper in Ngee Ann

2010-02-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle of Life

2010-02-20T19:19:00.002+08:00

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.
Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything.
Live the question now.

Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~
(translated by Stephen Mitchell)

We learn to accept the way things are and whatever happened because they were always meant to be.

2010-02-15T07:56:00.001+08:00

lately

2010-02-05T06:07:00.011+08:00

time - 6.21 am, 05/02/2010

1. school's ending in approx 20 days' time.
2. i feel lost.
3. i just read my old journal entries
4. and i missed blogging like this. HAHAHAHA
5. internship's ending
6. last proj presentation next tue
7. driving's getting better. i wanna pass before my PDL expires HAHA
8. i think i have been mj-ing every 4 days on average since this year started D:
9. the awaited checkup's done. i'm neither pes a nor b.
10. i'm going for napfa next fri.
11. currently taking a break from studies this wknd
12. cause i have 3 presentations & 2 tests all squeezed within the past 3 days. D: D:
13. i just took my amaths test ytd and i hope i can pass.
14. im very happy to settle for a pass
15. NUS BBA COP is 3.75, 0.25 increase from last year. I nearly died when i saw it.
16. everyone's an A A A student (for Alvl) in NUS/NTU biz. this is bad.
17. im tyring my luck to apply for ANU. HAHAHAHHAHAA
18. truth to be told, the only word that mattered - reciprocation.
19. I enjoy the quiet times in Ngee Ann Alumni :)
20. one last tutorial next tue and that sums up my 3 years in Ngee Ann.
21. it's ending. it is ending. i cant believe this. time really flies.
22. the best semester in my opinion? semester 1.1 :)
23. i love the feeling of having lunch at canteen 2 after my ob lecture, buying snacks during bcomm1 4 hours tutorial, hanging around at canteen 1 after lecture, whined about the walking the distance to bstats lecture, staying in sch late after monday's lesson just for swimming, meet ups with many many friends, love the bond we share when everyone wasnt that clique-ish in the begining, and not forgetting, wearing the same outfit with my classmate unexpectedly. HAHAHAHA
24. i'm happy with where i am, who i'm with right now. :)
25. circumstances = 10% of what happened, and 90% of your response to it.
26. for now, i'll cherish my new friends. :)
27. i really miss blogging this way. hahahahhahhaa
28. im happy that i went for my maths test.
29. it takes alot of courage for me to do that.
30. i wouldnt believe i would but i did!
31. i wanna see elmo again (:
32. i wanna take more pictures in school :(
33. one last project, 2 more exam papers
34. no one's taking napfa w me. sian. chao keng or garung ttm????????
35 i wanna get a job, finish my driving, decide what to study next time after school ends
36. graduation in may come quick pls.
37. maybe i shouldnt do psych after all
38. i will pack my room after everything ends.
39. im looking forward to cny, cause cny = mj:D
40. i miss you.

still 19

2010-02-02T02:16:00.001+08:00

just like a tattoo♥

-

2010-01-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

Men's hearts are filled with monstrous deceit.

to a better 2010 :)

2009-12-24T06:46:00.001+08:00

"There comes a time in your life, when you'll realise who matters, who never did, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future."

20 in <2 months.

2009-12-19T05:46:00.005+08:00

note to self: i will go above and beyond what it takes.

2009-11-27T08:10:00.002+08:00

I never wanted to be like the rest. I just want to be myself. Do i really want all that to happen? Maybe i really have to reconsider it. It's been a rough journey for me.

2009-11-08T03:54:00.007+08:00

It's like call waiting. you leave on hold for long enough, and they're gonna hang up.
this wouldnt happen again.

ref

2009-11-05T02:22:00.004+08:00

-

2009-11-04T01:10:00.003+08:00

"you know you have found the right one when you felt the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with the person. Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. "

-Dinah Craik

It lingers. stay w me.

2009-10-18T22:54:00.008+08:00

There're times where i just feel like being alone. I've been thinking so much lately. there're certain things i couldnt figure out, and i cant give them definite answers. Some memories, I wish to unravel and walk through them again. To some people, I have so much to say. There are times when i just kept on trying, hoping that things will change. But it wouldnt budge. There are also times where i felt like im about to give up. I dont know what kept me going. Maybe i wouldnt want to stop trying because im not ready to do so. Maybe Im not happy with whatever thats happening cause they dont justify my repeated attempts and efforts. However, it doesnt really matter that much now, cause it'd been the past, and now is the key.

School's in. and i'll put everything aside for the time being, again.

the truth is ugly.

2009-10-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

My personal fave - :D

Abby Richter: [Abby has just closed the door on Colin after Mike told her to keep the conversation under a minute] What now?

Mike: OK, that's good. Now, just let him suffer.

Abby Richter: OK [gestures towards the door]

Abby Richter: Suffer! Suffer!

101009

2009-10-10T05:52:00.002+08:00

Amen.

#414

2009-10-08T01:10:00.010+08:00

2009-09-19T17:27:00.000+08:00

Being 19

2009-09-15T00:18:00.003+08:00

promise me.
be happy.

My passion is dying.

2009-09-10T06:23:00.010+08:00

Maybe i wouldn't want to choose SMU.
Evidence 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. :( obviously SMU's facing a change in their school culture and i dont wish to be any part of the change. They also seem to have some pressing issues to settle (like enrolment increase vs school size too small).

There's a very high chance i'll chosse NTU HSS over NUS FAS, though i prefer NUS in its overall reputation and establishment. But NUS FAS positioning is so wrong despite being the most reputable. (why? cause they just lump everything together under FASS and it just look like a dumping ground to me. No wonder C rejected NUS cos she dont want to "waste time").

There's also a very high chance i may choose NUS BBA over NTU HSS, any time. I have not come to a solid conclusion to whether i should continue reading business or switch to psychology.
the end of 5th semester, and I'm torn. dead torn.

Analytical Thinker

2009-09-03T23:51:00.004+08:00

Analytical Thinkers are reserved (true) , quiet persons. They like to get to the bottom of things - curiosity is one of their strongest motives. (extremely true) They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. They do not really need much more to be happy because they are modest persons. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to this type. (i'm not so sure about this but I definitely do not want to associate myself with maths)

Analytical Thinkers loathe contradictions and illogicalness (true) ; with their sharp intellect, they quickly and comprehensively grasp patterns (I suck in analysing those IQ pattern questions) , principles (true) and structures (true). They are particularly interested in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings (true). ; for them, it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical acts or in sharing their considerations with others. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone (extremely true) ; their ability to concentrate is more marked than that of all other personality types. They are open for and interested in new information.

Career

Analytical Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - they are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of their work by others does not play a great role for them; in general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant. (I aspire to be)

Analytical Thinkers therefore often give others the impression that they are arrogant or snobby - especially because they do not hesitate to speak their mind with their often harsh (even if justified) criticism and their imperturbable self-confidence. (I think for the past 3 semesters this became more tangible and I hate to admit that but it's gonna stop.) Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with them. But whoever succeeds in winning their respect and interest has a witty and very intelligent person to talk to. (extremely true, I could cite a friend already hahaha) A partner who amazes one with his excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.

As an Analytical Thinker you are one of the introverted personality types. You are not particularly suited for dealing with others, working as a part of a team and be in the position of “continuous exchange“, you would much rather work alone, and dwell on your thoughts undisturbed. You usually put a critical distance (not that extreme for me) between yourself and others that enables you to be the keen and incorrupt observer of life.

This distance can be truly bridged by only very few other people. That is probably caused by the fact that you are not all that interested to share your thoughts with others. Generally it is sufficient for you to have clarified a matter for yourself or that you have understood something; the continuous in your eyes mostly superficial chatter of the people around you becomes rather annoying. (I suppose)

You prefer to work independently and appreciate having a lot of time and quiet in order to concentrate on the really important things (yes, thats the reason why i NEVER participate in self study groups or mugging with friends, I mug alone) : Structuring ideas, comprehending complex causalities, understanding of the universe, its rules and the logical analysis of systems. You absorb new information like a sponge and your memory is legendary. (extremely true) Once you have learned something, you’ll never forget it - unless you consider it to be irrelevant for some reason and decide that it seems to be better purging it from your data storage. (yes, i never forget what I have learnt)

Friendships

It takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they are mostly friends for life. (extremely true) They only need very few people around them. (true) Their most important ability is to be a match for them and thus give them inspiration. (extremely true) Constant social obligations quickly get on their nerves; (NOT TRUE, i'm not anti social) they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others. Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person, Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. But they are always up to a night spent with stimulating discussions (wah, i like) and a good glass of wine!

Relationships
When falling in love, you can turn into a real surprise package! Normally those around you probably see you like most Thinkers as slightly preoccupied, a little absentminded, maybe even a little arrogant. (i doubt so) You also give the impression of being quiet, cool, distanced and deliberate - everything is true. It is also true that you rarely fall in love because your expectations of your partner are very high and only very few will meet them.

However, when it happens to you, things - especially for an introverted Thinker - can get pretty intense. Then you even throw your previous taciturnity overboard, and compared to your normal behavior, you get loquacious and drippy. But that usually doesn’t last long, as soon your analytical and rational part returns from its vacation, puts the entire matter under a microscope without mercy, and woe to your partner if he/she did not reach the required standards in some respect! You have a very clear mental picture of your expectations and in this respect you are much too hardheaded and stubborn to be ready for any compromises. You would rather be alone than to put up with the second best, thank you very much.

For your partner, the change from the love poem writing, romantic Romeo, to the cool strategist, is sometimes rather bewildering and not easy to deal with. Here, they think they have hooked the great romantic, and in reality you belong to the most unemotional and logical types around. If your counterpart is a very emotional type, this cold shower can lead to a few problems between you because (extremely true) , after the initial effusiveness is gone, he/she won’t be able to squeeze all that many declarations of feelings and vows of love out of you.

Once the courtship period is over, you simply don’t see the necessity any longer. Emotions are suspect to you anyway, because they are capricious and you give your partner only occasionally a glimpse into your innermost feelings. That hurts many types very much and makes them feel rejected and taken for granted. You, on the other hand, are uncomfortable if you feel pushed into an intimacy you don’t like, and frequently you don’t understand what your partner expects of you. (yes yes yes i could NEVER understand how librians think)

Tags

Adjectives which describe your type: introverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, analytical, intellectual, sceptical, pensive, critical (I hope I'm not. if i am, im quitting) , quiet, precise, independent, creative, inventive, abstract, eccentric, curious, reserved, self-involved, imaginative, unsociable (NOT TRUE) , determined, modest, careful, incommunicative, witty.

From here. Have fun!

Next year I'm 20.

2009-08-31T06:03:00.008+08:00

I have many thoughts.

Tonight, some memories just came running back to me. of so many events that occurred, so many people that walk(ed) into my life. It felt that I'd like to go back, and walk through them once more. It became so imperceptible that this world, our lives and routines continue to move regardless of whatever events that happened. I do wish i could revist them, again.

I took a step back, saw the paths i'd treaded upon and I see my growth (or did it really happend?) . From adolensce, to a teenager and now in my last year (or 6 months) of it. Whatever I've went through, it wasn't easy for me. But if I had not made all these mistakes, and paths that were not meant for me, I wouldn't have been who I am today.

To all who walked into my life, the ones who have played important roles in my growth. Whether those who have left (or still with me) I know, all wouldn't have been the same without each and every single one of you. I treasure all of the memories forged, good or bad, because I know they will always be a part of me. The past is sweet, but we cannot bring everyone with us into the future. If I would ever have the chance, i really hope we can build our friendship all over again. What that matters most is this present moment now, that will determine all our tomorrows.

so fucking, fucking tough to be a ________ at times.

0627, ryann

convict my heart

2009-08-22T13:05:00.003+08:00

i wished it never came to me.

of exams and stress relieve

2009-08-19T11:17:00.003+08:00

Story 1
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! Soon, a farmer passed by and heard the little bird chirping. Seeing the poor creature covered with dung, he decided to help the bird get out of the mess and placed it under a shrub. By this time, the bird was feeling warm and chirpy. and A cat passing by heard the sounds, saw the bird and ate it up.

Morals of the story?
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) When you’re in deep shit, it might be better just to keep your mouth shut.

Story 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

The moral of the story?

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Story 3
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

The moral of the story?

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Story 4
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and Crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” Once again the priest apologized. “Sorry sister, but the mind is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm129.

It said, “Go forth and seek; further up, and you will find glory.”

The moral of the story?

Always be well informed in your job; Or you might miss a great opportunity.

From here.

2009-08-06T03:30:00.004+08:00

My favourite story - Twelfth Night :) whats yours?

13 terminals

2009-07-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

premature graduation

2009-07-06T01:42:00.004+08:00

2009-06-27T03:05:00.000+08:00

my mind is over all the place and i cant hold nor form coherent thoughts ):

May your heart reside in mine.

2009-06-20T02:39:00.006+08:00

I can't read the future
Don't know how long it'll be
I know it takes a lot of courage
Just to give your heart away

I wonder if this would work out
So uncertain how it'll start
But I know, I know
Im loving you

There's so little I have to say
Three words you wanna hear
If there's one thing I'd wish for
In this life

I will show you how much I care
I would do anything
May your heart reside in mine

remember

2009-06-13T00:55:00.003+08:00

when one door closes, another opens.

mutually exclusive

2009-06-08T01:41:00.004+08:00

it started to hurt, all over again.

2009-05-28T01:42:00.002+08:00

"It's relatively easy to work out the prices of things because they can be measured, weighed, or appraised. But life's greatest treasures are intangible and, therefore, immeasurable. I can borrow a cup of sugar, but not a cup of love. I can buy four pounds of beef, but not four pounds of forgiveness. And I can rent an 800 square foot apartment, but not 800 square feet of wisdom.

It is easier to sell shoes than to sell life insurance because shoes are tangible; their value is obvious. But the value of goodness, or virtue, may not be immediately or readily clear. So, it's not surprising that, as Oscar Wilde quipped, "Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing."

When commenting on the tangible versus the intangible, Albert Einstein said, "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." So, it's time for us to ask ourselves, "What counts? What are the true, meaningful, and lasting values?"

"Man has been called a rational being, but rationality is a matter of choice - and the alternative his nature offers him is: rational being or suicidal animal. Man has to be man - by choice; he has to hold his life as a value - by choice; he has to learn to sustain it - by choice; he has to discover the values it requires and practice his virtues - by choice. A code of values accepted by choice is a code of morality."

Yes, a job, money, and possessions have value, but their value is in what they add to life. And what they add is spice. They represent the salt and pepper of life. The meat of life consists of the intangibles: friendships, relationships, love, service, creativity, civility, kindness, and spirituality, to name a few. Our values form our character and define us. They shape who we are. They are what make us memorable. Our values are what make us valuable. They give our life meaning, purpose, and direction. They guide our choices and direct our lives.

It is because of their importance that we need to pause occasionally, take stock of ourselves, and make sure we haven't lost sight of what is really significant."

Life has a value only when it has something valuable as its object." So, when we center our lives on values, we become valuable. The value of life, then, is not determined by its length, but how we put it to use. Wealth is not riches; possessions are not abundance, and self is not everything, but values bring meaning, purpose, and direction to life. A modest, simple life filled with meaning is worth far more than an elaborate, splendiferous one that is meaningless."

-R

when i see you smile

2009-05-24T01:11:00.004+08:00

It feels like a dream.
A verse in a chapter
A paragraph in a novel
and it was you.

In my memory there's a bridge
amongst the cloud
and there he is
standing in the middle
striding towards
to the journey where he came from

and he took a step back
to where he was
and there he stood
with a smile

he wondered what's next
and hesitated a while
and a little more
and next it came

he closed his eyes
and a peck came
all's still good
and definitely aint lost

In my memory there's a bridge
that came before the old Town
and im right on it
even till now.

come what may

2009-05-14T03:27:00.002+08:00

0516280
Remember us at our best. (:

2009-05-06T03:14:00.003+08:00

Bondingday trial run on mon and i dread school.

fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear ):

2009-05-01T01:48:00.008+08:00

Letting go doesnt mean you are giving up.
It simply signifies that you are strong enough to let go.
We know that two third of this unforgettable period of time will come to an end when there's one-sixth left. So for now, we have to cherish.

***
Today, catching up w M and C was great. We walked from Holland v to Botanic Gardens to Tanglin mall (: Sat with Sacha, hopefully.

Meanwhile, I'm glad to hear that you're coping well. Undoubtly, hearing that really made my day, I swear.

Aquarian.

2009-04-27T01:18:00.000+08:00

"I'm like a Rubik's cube; the more you play with me, the harder I get."

2009-04-23T02:21:00.005+08:00

Sweet (:

I want to watch this!

And I had the same excat outfit as Zac HAHAHA (less the shades in the film)

School started for 3 days and I'm pretty depress now. Everytime I gaze around in LTs, I saw writing, writing, more writing. Everyone burried their heads down to their notes and were furiously penning away. Im freaking freaked out. For the first in entire 5 semesters, i feel suffocated when i sense that. I dont know what's Compensation, Industrial Relations, Int Employment, Training & Development doing in my life.

I so want marketing badly now :(

Bring me back to where it all began.

2009-04-16T01:01:00.001+08:00

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back

Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you to need me
So we're bound to linger on

We drink the fatal drop
Then love
until we bleed
Then fall apart
in parts

acceptance

2009-04-15T01:07:00.006+08:00

The past incident was the focal pont that made us see the light. What we went through was a hell of spinning carousel of roller coaster ride that somehow made us felt complacent of our relationship. It turned out to be a constant stuggle, a bulging force that somehow cease the whole picture into black and white. There wasnt any alternatives, just subsequent events that just kept spriling downwards.

After all those repetitive recurrences, I had a huge brush coming in terms with the challenges of acceptance. Acceptance is self esteem, acceptance is accepting our innate flaws. acceptance is recoginising the fragility of friendship, and facing the challenges that may bring forth in time to come. Acceptance is to acknowledge, acknowledging the significances of what we have fought against. Acceptance is accepting that whatever comes, comes. But prior to that, acceptance has to be in place of accepting that I have tried, You have tried, we all had tried.

When issue at hands isn't all that pleasant and interests clash alongside, it turns out to be uncompromising. Over time, it's only through acceptance that can allow and aid us to appreciate the magnificent of relationships. Through the act of accptance, we recognise our efforts, be it triumphs, trials or tribulences. With acceptance, we are able to hold true of ourselves, holding on to our beliefs and values.

With that, we ignite the lights in our heart for the need to hope, for the better.

2009-04-13T02:39:00.005+08:00

"If being crazy means to live life to its fullest, then i wouldn't mind being completely insane."

- April

2009-03-31T02:52:00.001+08:00

Will be out of town and be back on 10th Apr. So it's time to pack my feelings up and prepare for this cold trip. :)

embrace.

2009-03-28T05:23:00.009+08:00

At the end of the day, friends come and go. I couldnt deny this nor I could readily accept it. I learn how to forget, suck it all up (as quoted from M), accept and move on.

But moving on doesnt signify all should end up there and then. I tired to believe that our friendships, and yes, friendships, meant so much more than that single call, text or even a birthday reminder. I even thought of disentangling all hidden vines between us that were left unfound. But hey, maybe those vines werent even exist from the very begining.

And somehow, all the little things that seemingly strike an unforgettable chord all cease in grey. It became very apprarent that things shone in a different light now, and now is the key.
As we all blog in the Moment as well as in retrospection, when I looked back, and look at how things are now, that should be suffice, for now.

Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested in only the present.
If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race.

Life will be a party for you, a grand festival,
because life is the moment we're living right now.
- The Alchemist

linger.

2009-03-26T00:34:00.001+08:00

"You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this."

-rainbowfields

halfway, through

2009-03-24T11:50:00.004+08:00

There's no place that i'd rather be
than right here, with you.

2009-03-19T11:24:00.006+08:00

When i told you that I am whatever that you needed me to be, i meant it. But now, I'm sure that the day has come when you no longer need me. Probably for now, you'll gonna have to make do with your other friends. Because, that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes, the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded, for they have inspired good.

Lovc now and always,
Marley.

2009-03-16T05:56:00.005+08:00

Tonight, I feel more jaded and screwed than ever. All my cynicism that's left is versely proportional to the the ghastly mistakes and incidents that just kept on spiraling downwards.

maybe a storm's brewing soon. but somehow, i cant seem to dance in the rain anymore. maybe someone has cut my achilles tendons away, leaving me stranded in the gloom with agony. I feel terribly suffocated. pain in the knuckle. crippled in my vision. faint in the far end. and my mind's struggling to avoid waging a war within, with what's left that's worth mentioning.

somehow i wished we didnt end it here.

detour

2009-03-15T02:25:00.000+08:00

maybe i was wrong all along.

2009-03-01T14:13:00.002+08:00

"First time we met, what were your first thoughts?
You tell me.
I thought you looked like Christmas morning. I dont know how else to say it.
And why are you telling me this now?

Guess in the end, you start thinking bout the begining. So there it is, I thought you should know."

2009-02-24T00:45:00.002+08:00

God's grace will bring me through tomorrow's relevant costing.
and no more careless mistakes tmrw.

2009-02-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

why.

Indicative Grade Profile

2009-02-14T21:49:00.005+08:00

NUS

NTU

SMU

NIE

when your days & nights get a lil colder.

2009-02-11T05:23:00.011+08:00

afew days ago, it was the time of the year again.

just wanna express my heartfelt thanks to everyone sent their well wishes & presents. (the scripts was awesome!)

especially to mum & sis who bought the last min mango cake hahha (:

& to those who called personally even though we hadn't been meeting in quite a while.

there were some whom meant something to me but apparently they seemed to have forgotten the day. and yet the same time, there were those who weren't too close to me yet they bothered to. I'm surprised yet disappointed at the same time, but well, when one door closes, another opens. & for now, i'll choose to look forward to meeting the latter. (:

Thank you, for remembering me & Feburary 07.
I appreciate it.

:(

2009-02-01T05:08:00.022+08:00

pretty self explainatory of what im reminiscing now, year 1 sem 1. I had so much fun, laughter, smiles, everything and all. (in case you're wondering, no, it's not about the results, it never was, it's the process, the whole damn process, and those i seek help from..)

I have just finished my ecd slides for tue's presentation and i'm srsly very exhausted from everything. from 2007 april till now, 2008 feburary, i only had 5 weeks of break from sch, thanks to attachment, which was fucking sick.motivation's getting bleak these days, really really bleak and i just felt like pouring, pouring all out.....

(that i'm just so sick of school. I'm tired of trying to ace things that i have zlich interest for, i'm tired of all the negative snergy, the negative group dynamics, i'm sick of having access on every monday endlessly, i'm tired of editing reports, i'm sick of doing MA tutorial 3 times just to make sure that i could ace it, I'm sick of repeating that 3 times for Fmgt (that was really sick to begin with), i'm sick of repeating myself to others, i'm sick of pleasing people around me. School aside, i'm sick of faking a smile to people i'm not close with, i'm sick of fragile frienships and so many more that's clouding my mind now.........)

nothing is tough for a willing heart, but im not a robot to begin with.

to you:

2009-01-25T02:26:00.013+08:00

maybe it's me
maybe it's pessimism
maybe it's my perspective
see what i see.

maybe it's you
maybe it's being passive
maybe it's weariness.
hear what i say.

maybe it's us
maybe it's the things we did
maybe it's your perspective
sense what i feel

maybe it's forgoing
maybe it's choices
maybe it's destined
feel my heart,

maybe, it's not over
maybe, it's the end
and if it's ever meant to be,
will you let it be?

2009-01-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

my first seeing a poem on Mel hahaha.

2009-01-19T04:14:00.001+08:00

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to,
To make you mine
Stay with me tonight

believe.

2009-01-16T04:02:00.004+08:00

"When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
While you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that seeks the sun's love"

Whatever that has happened this week became so imperceptible.
press on, this ephemeral moment,
and remember us at our best.

more than just..

2009-01-05T03:00:00.007+08:00

"We don't need adversity before we learn to not take things for granted. (and well, i learnt the hard way to understand this).We don't need to face deprivation before we learn to be grateful for what we have now. We don't need to face death (checked), before we learn how to cherish and love.

It was never meant to be a bed of roses, I don't want to have life just like that. It must be more than that. More than just shopping, dining at high end restaurants, dolling up and buying countless bags & clothes that we don't even glance at 6 months later. More than just going through school slogging away for straight As (and srsly, it's nothing big deal anyw.), getting a job earning money then spending it all. More than just hanging out with bunches of friends, spending endless time partying and yakking away. More than just getting chased and being pampered with gifts and attention.

A new year comes, we just want to forget all the unhappy things of 2008 and live 2009. Then perhaps we'll realise 2009 isn't so good afterall. When another new year comes again, then we also want to forget the unhappy 2009 and wish that perhaps 2010 will be better. Will it? It is a never ending cycle.

Failures and victory, suffering and glory. Am I too comfortable here?

Surely, there is more than just that."

an extract that set me thinking.

2009-01-04T03:05:00.001+08:00

"Each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."

the five people you meet in Heaven

upheaval

2008-12-31T05:28:00.031+08:00

a tainted 2008; Sichuan 7.9 earthquake, Burma cyclone nargis, KL landslide, Indonesia Java mudflow, lehman brother's bankruptcy, Wall Street tumble, global fanancial crisis, Islamabad marriott bombing (pakistan), war on terror, melamine man made tragedy, Mumbai terrorism, scarcity in rice, and not forgetting our masselamat (spore).

goodbye '08. you're by far the most tumultuous journey for me, and for the world as well.

this year, i'm thankful for alot of things. having to know ann marie, wonderful orientation, my internship at linguatech and having a chance to do marketing for them, frist time befriending a half-melayu-half-bristish colleague hahhaha, having a awesome time taking up socialpsy, 6As 5ADs, topping LMS& ISP, record breaking report, movie marathons, knowing dean, countless nightlives and still surviving, attending Christ Tabernacle, catching up with friends and thankfully, still in contact with old ones, conquering accounts in academics. but most importantly, acceptance, in life.

coming 2009, say hello to first time being an entreprenuer, study trips, taking the last couple of IS, having my birthday falling on last day of CNY, and well, yay to an exciting semester of taking up psychology, and thats having cleared through the boring 3.1 first, aye. not forgetting, napfa. dang.

Let's put our lives into God's hands once again, walking with the Lord as our new chapter unfolds, doing the impossible, bringing Him glory, working hard to be the head and not the tail, doing the best in whatever we're doing, be a fool for christ, be a cheerful giver and steward of God, be an evangelist, be a person of faith and obediance, be a vessel for His kingdom. and I know, nothing's impossible with Him around (matthew 19:26)

cheers mates, and have a smashing 2009 ahead.
live life to the fullest, and live your dreams!

2008-12-30T03:09:00.011+08:00

Overdue pictures here, finally.

14/12: Before the day the earth stood still;
Somehow we never fail to find some comfy void decks and chill hahahha.

our 1000 watt smiles (:

Pre FYP/ Post As/ Post Common test symdromes hahhaahahaha

21/12 eastcoast gathering

gah, i walked like 25min from the underpass at area b to area c. good food, great company, nostalgic memories and nice weather makes the night. catching up was awesome, haahahahhaa. NS for the college guys soon, aye!

19/12; Twilight thereafter:

been quite sometime since we hang out. this year kept both of us momentarily busy and in the midst, only met you twice in 6 months aye.

24/12 eastcoast bbq
well, cheers to that yay, our gift exchange sessions after midnight. i'm $XXX poorer hahhhahaha but hey good thing eh.

all's good, after the downpour. twice. dang.

thanks guys, for your well wishes!

Ben&Jerry's at Dempsey on 26th. and i dont like the uncle's stare. lol

19 minutes

2008-12-20T01:37:00.006+08:00

"nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep on happening. maybe that's because it's all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. you know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone's ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end.

but then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like."

an extract.

ps. i took 4 days and i'm not even half done reading the novel. hmmmmmmm. maybe i dont really love lit as much as i thought. okay this is bad.

thankful.

2008-12-19T00:48:00.004+08:00

If we could shrink the Earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the human ratio's remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

THERE WOULD BE:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both North & South
8 Africans

Of which;
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess
59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the US
80 would be living in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding, and education becomes glaringly apparent. The following is also something to ponder...

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead, and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married...you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

ref

intricacy.

2008-12-14T07:18:00.023+08:00

"And yet no time prevails in my behove
Nor any time can make me cease to live"

Time, a tinge of black and white. timeless, yet temporal

Much as I would very like to have a peek into THE future, I dont know what it lies for us. I dont know what deviations it may signify, and neither i do i know that if all those what ifs would probably come true. what if you have never gotten what you have gotten? or you never lose what you had lost? when you cant have what you want, is it really time for you to start wanting what you have?

After having gone through all those past trials, triumphs and tribulations and through revelations, till we fully understood the beauty of it. we cherish, we pray, and we hope for the best. and in that moment of heat, with that sudden realization that abruptly stop us from groping in darkness. and only till then, we are freed.

through & beyond.

screw this morning angsty.

2008-12-10T00:51:00.003+08:00

This period really altest my faith for the supreme, and allowed me to know one's vulnerability but at the same time, giving a chance to nuture myself to be even stronger. definitely an account that worthed >2cents.

2008-12-05T23:51:00.004+08:00

Matthew 19:26

cost paper tmrw, zomg.

Day 1

2008-11-23T00:02:00.010+08:00

thank you, mmrk.
Today, im thankful cause you were there for me. Thanks for everything, srsly.
not forgetting, with your grace, each pain makes me grow stronger, each fall turns me tougher.

thank you, hal urban.
thank you, nick vujicic.
thank you, lord.

I'm bigger than you. You cant defeat me.

a godsent.

2008-11-18T01:13:00.010+08:00

"God hasn't really answered your prayers, or rescue you from your suffering.

but he's preparing you, preparing your heart to strength it, and preparing your heart for something more."

this is his website.

intrigued.

2008-11-17T00:51:00.010+08:00

as this year comes to an end,
we all know
what seemed so strong,
has been &gone.

if ever anything meant
something to you,
take a walk down
to the days of old,
listen to the song,
that pull the cords
of us together,

& i know, i know,
all's still good
&definitely aint lost.

2008-11-15T11:38:00.011+08:00

School has been too much too take recently. and i thought this sem was supposed to be better than last sem cos there's only 5 modules
???????????????????????????????????????????? (i kinda miss this so yea.)

Apart from tue's Payalebar project (and it rained), wed's cost test (with lightning and thunder), thu's Hougang market analysis trip (rained again), ytd ended late with some entreprenuership talk. very very late with huge rain. not forgetting i fucking ended traveling around without any umbrella.

this week was hell for the record in my NP days.

(and i need to rmb to bring umbrella out so yea.)

the spirit of enterprise

2008-11-05T04:15:00.015+08:00

I dont know what's getting me into this but i kept losing my cool. I wonder what's wrong with everyone this semester man. I dont know if this is the post (and traumastic) effect of ITP, but i srsly need someone (helpful& ungrudgingly) to enlighten me w all these. We all have enough of brainstorming of ideas and I had enough of thinking which idea will get us an A, which one wouldnt be feasible and such. In the past where people said being competitive isn't healthy and such, but now it's good. way too good, and everyone's being too competitive for whatever's worth mentioning. what excatly are we nuturing ourselves to be?

it's 4am now and i CANNOT imagine why i'm god damn disturbed about it. Can anyone enlighten me the spirit of enterprise? not mentioning this is my core module of why my course exists.

p.s: & i still believe that nothing is tough for a willing heart. last semester was a great and proven testimony for whatever that's worth the single minute of glory.

through & beyond

2008-10-28T03:02:00.005+08:00

We might kiss

when we are alone

When nobody's watching

We might take it home

We might make out

when nobody's there

It's not that we're scared

It's just that it's delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrows

With the words you've borrowed

From the only place you've known

And why'd ya sing Hallelujah

If it means nothing to ya'

Why'd you sing with me at all?

for you, i will.

2008-10-27T00:27:00.021+08:00

4 (for now), 10 & 6 pointers (:

i love you. and no one comes as close as the two of you.
all the best for the most fucking important exams in your lives (that will determine your paths).

2008-10-20T01:53:00.002+08:00

Though yesterday brought sorrow,

The clouds will part and dawn will bring

A happier tomorrow.

2008-10-17T02:18:00.002+08:00

You'll go on and meet someone else
and I'll just be a chapter in your tale,
but for me,
you were, you are and you always will be,

the whole story.

2008-10-13T02:24:00.019+08:00

Mon - Water melon, banana, pear, subwaycookies

Tue starfruit, apple, banana, strawberry

Wed- pear, apple, honeydew

Thu

Fri- watermelon, apple
How do you explain the romance for wasabi in Thai? (:

LT Inc. :

Team- Telcomm
Lunchmates

Team- Editorial
Team- Finance
Team- Sales
Team- General Proj

CreatumCo. :

TX Inc. :

Creatum1st Anniversary:

(you'll get the drift)

2008-10-10T22:56:00.010+08:00

Inevitably we all experience this phrase.
Sure, it acts more than a dagger. maybe, too much of good can be bad. maybe, we ought to give it a chance to prove. but for now, change can bring me nearer,

nearer to dreams.

look no further at the junction, this is me.

2008-10-05T00:19:00.008+08:00

lost love is still love.
it takes a different form thats all. you can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor, but when those senses weaken, another heightens; memory.

memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it.

- mitch albom

***
Courtesy of Butterfly, this may be the reason why i did well for my marketing. This and this add up to the spices as well.

hope

2008-09-30T14:02:00.011+08:00

to recount a story, to spin a tale,
about a man who've became pale.
no words seemed apt, just some more ale',
for the story that's only a fairytale.

a thousand words, could never tell,
the chronicles that once dwelled.
just this feeling, is not enough,
to sum this up in a draft.

why tell 'em when it'll never heal,
~~cease~~ all hopes in this ville.
but what was left, all alone,
is something,

that will never be known.

With you, i hope
for the better.

and fuck this seemingly vauge shit.

3N

2008-09-28T23:34:00.002+08:00

Thank God I found you<3

Live your dreams.

2008-09-25T15:15:00.015+08:00

From these 6 interesting lines (it is one sentence actually, but do you know why it became 6 instead?), here's what a friend wrote:

"To put things in adolescent view, one will grin at the end of the poem. Pure bliss shouldn’t be ignored. According to Aristotle, pleasure is something that perfects an activity. I deduce that the poem’s duality reflects on our lives, both the pleasure of seeking and losing oneself in love persona.

Contrary to popular belief, pure lasting love would last forever. But the poet has brought upon an interesting fact that one who longs for love very frequently, one who indulges in mindless love or surrendering himself to desires would not retain love long, for he/she has lost the meaning of love.

Trickling motion physically simply stands for erectile dysfunction. However, it can reflect on the rate how some of us realised how some potential love relation could or would turn out. Moreover, it does portray a certain fragile feeling through the usage of ‘softness’. More than just not being tardy and hardy, it can also insinuate how soft we are to the emergence of love when we feel it. It seems that the poet would like to note that we’re humans after all despite how strong or persistent we are to the idea of bad love.

A tongue and cheek take on love, the poem has its truth in today’s society where promiscuity has lead on the deteriorating meaning of ‘pure lasting love."

And with this,
Thank You, my Friend
For affirming what I really have
interest and passion for

Cause, dreams keep me alive
nearer to where i belong and who i truly am...

and stronger than before.