paths crossed, lives change.

It feels good. real good.

We gazed, and the memories flow back like it never did.

The most vivid one will be me getting half sober at the playground. just the two of us. with drinks and dim lights accompanied us till wee. heh. 15. what a tender age.

Oh and yes. i have come to terms, finally. I used to have such guilt over myself, over them over anyone else. But i supposed im on and over it. it doesnt matter how you guys viewed. it doesnt matter what incidents they are. nothing at all.
Be it Mel's or Matt's or even His, whoever. whats more important is MY thinking. My own thinking. lost love is definitely still love, no matter what happens, no matter how long it had happened - i saw, experienced, and felt it today.

demolish that pillar please.

"lost love is still love. it takes a different form that's all. you can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor, but when those senses weaken, another heightens; memory. memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it."- mitch albom

Pertaining to His matter, digress a little.
i have to disagree with my CGL when he said this to me.
"If you're serious with Him, He will be serious with you."

It wasnt until recent that i recalled this matter. I believe that His love for us isnt the same for the love we have for the people around us. kinship, relationships, friendship, be it any. His love for us is eternal, forever and never once left us. unlike we people, turning our backs at him whenever things come along. misunderstandings, emotions (hatred, sloth, melancholy), logical thinkings, anything that gotten the heads of ours. how could my cell grp leader equate God's love for us to the love we have for the rest? \=

Back to that statement, im sure be it fact that we're devoted to Him at any circumstances, or we overlooked him only when we're happily enjoying ourselves and to realise His presence when we're in grief, He has always been, and always will be there. (:

Ask yourselves. how many times you turned your back against Him? How many times He in turn, does the same?

Dont worry connie, im sure you're right about me. HAHAHA. long entry, i know. toooodles!