society.

im dreading, really dreading work on fri sat AND sun.

and i can safely tell you, results are still the most important aspect people look into it. phrases like " what's more important is you've tried your best" or "it's the process that counts" are all bullshits. so what you have tried? so what you tried really hard and supposingly right to you? at the end of it, it still boils down to you being able to achieve the decent results.

you can assure your manager you'd done your best to push sales,so what? she wants to see FIGURES, not you bragging your efforts on attaining it.

you can tell your parents you mug really hard for exams and all, so what? all their small eyes only desire to see distinctions and nothing more. anything below that fallen outta it is oblivious to them.

you can explain to your boss whom interviewed you for your first job regarding your academic
performance, that you placed alot of efforts and yadayada, so what? it is, and still is the end result (which is your portfoilo) that is important and account mainly for their choice to set their impressions of you.

another analogy- you are an ex convict, and you can tell the whole world that you have turned over a new leave. so what? they see what you used to be, nothing more.

i chanced upon a local documentary pertaining to this, and i heard and have seen many cases on the programme itself. dont try explaining me to me you're "open minded enough " and " it doesnt matter if they are ex convicts". i tell you honestly, i cant be that open minded enough myself when it comes to such matters. are you truly one as well? or rather, if are you, a manager, serious about promoting your staff to a supervisior whom had gotten into the crime of theft, gangfights and bulgary?

we are all humans. and you know what? humans may forgive, but they can still clearly remember what you did. as clear as crystal.

p/s: dont criticise me that im pessimistic, having low self esteem, whatever along that line when i think of it this way. yes, i dare to say all these because i did put in 100% effort and yet you see the above happening. dont comment useless and senseless junk when you dont even know me well enough. oh, and dont tell me off lest if you never give anything your best shot as close as me in life. unless you did experience the same as me, you can try telling me that im wrong, but you're just deceiving youself.

because, it is this society that shapes most of the people today.
and it is this society that is so realistic.

so fucking realistic.